Mr Triclopse? There is one more thing we could try before you wipe out all life on our planet. I will back-date it for you. Fraudulent, but I would risk it, given the stakes.”
Illy the Triclopse’s beady eyes sparked with surprise, and he turned his insect-like body to Ben, the man who was the only thing standing between Earth and oblivion.
“You said your father would be furious if he found out you dented his favourite space buggy while joy-riding it on the Milky Way, right? On Earth, we have a thing called ‘short-term car insurance’ which seems to apply in your case.”
Ben’s voice was shaking, and his gaze constantly wandered toward the sonic annihilator in Illy’s third left arm – a device he intended to use to wipe out all life on Earth to cover his tracks.
“How can insurance help me now?” Illy barked through his universal translator voice box.
“Well, it is very easy to set up and it covers any motor vehicle you like from 1 to 28 days. It takes care of all problems which arise during private or business use, apart from renting out, of course.”
“You misunderstand. The post-fusion burner in the back which I dented on your so-called London Eye is not the main problem. My father would kill me if he knew I came to Earth. He explicitly forbids it since we caught a transmission of the documentary movie ‘Aliens’ and he saw how your people wiped out our cousins. I have to kill all witnesses and face his wrath over the car damage,” Illy’s voice rose with a tinge of anger.
Ben chose not to explain that ‘Aliens’ was merely a hit-or-miss sequel to an otherwise great sci-fi classic and focused on closing the sale.
“Your father will never know you were on Earth. I was the only witness. The short-term insurance will pay for fixing the dents, and I know a great guy in Hammersmith.”
Illy started to soften up. “Well, I also took the top off the Eiffel Tower. Left a nasty scratch.”
“No problem. The insurance is valid all over Europe.”
“My father will still be angry. He has never been in an accident and gets 70 percent off on the main insurance policy of this space buggy…”
“Claims on the short-term insurance policy will not affect that!”
Illy was pleased. Life on Earth continued.